Like any recovery there are times where some days are more difficult than others. It is how you overcome those challenges that matter. Let’s take yesterday. There is no reason I should have had a bad day yet I did. What didn’t help this day is the fact that not only was Paul feeding into the energy but the kids were to. Where ever I turned I was facing negativity. Though I find I am good at buffering negativity from my life when everyone around me is feeding off it than I find I fall into the trap.
So back to my bad day; I need to look at it in the big picture, It’s okay to have a bad day as long as I don’t feed into it. So what do I do now? Bad days are the most important days to baby yourself. Watch a movie, read a book, disconnect from it somehow. Lick your emotional wounds and then move on. Sometime talking about it helps too, just find a way to let the energy go.
Let me tell you why my day is bad. I am feeling beaten up. Paul goes to work at 6:30 in the morning and doesn’t come home until 6:00 or 6:30 at night. He is inundated with work to do, not only his own but others as well so this leaves him tired and grouchy. We are one of the few people I know who make a good salary yet can’t get a mortgage, and are subsequently forced to rent a home. We also in making a good living somehow barely manage to make ends meet. Some weeks this is more difficult to do than others because of the cyclical nature of bills it always ends up that they are all due at around the same time. The end of the month and the beginning of the month are always the most stressful. This is where my bad day comes from. I am tired of making a good living but never able to set money aside, I am tired of having to rent a home rather than owning, I am tired of having to pay more for my bills because my credit is not stellar. I am tired of feeling behind on everything.
Now I’m going to turn this thinking around: I am thankful I have enough food to put on my table, while eating a full meal myself. I know that it always gets more difficult before a big break comes, so this bad day must mean a really good day is around the corner. I am thankful that I can pay all of my bills; there are many people out there who can’t. I am thankful I have a home to live in because there are many people who are living on the street or in hotels. I am thankful for this opportunity to help others by telling my story.
I am okay with what has happened to us as long as I can make something good come out of it. I am thankful to everyone who helps me with this mission.