The Quicksand Story

Our story through the quicksand of our own financial crisis

Archive for the tag “eviction”

Choices and Changes

When our choices impact our family’s future we are forced to look within ourselves and find a way out of our own mess. Society doesn’t let upward mobility happen easily. I had fallen from millionaire to pauper. Try renting a house when you have a bankruptcy, foreclosures, repossessions, tax liens and evictions on your credit report. The reality is that it doesn’t matter if you can pay the rent today and tomorrow. You are the number not a person and that culture needs to change.Bad things happen to good people and good people make bad choices.

My mistake during the years of financial meltdown was that I didn’t change fast enough. I made poor financial decisions because I couldn’t or didn’t want to see we were out of money. In 2002 Karen and I spent a month on vacation to the tune of $20,000. When we returned we had trouble paying the bill and it was then that I should have recognized something was different. I’m not sure it was denial at first, but rather the inability to recognize what was changing.

If I had recognized change I would have made different decisions for my family. We would never have sold the house in Milford or bought and leased new cars. I spend a lot of time thinking about how if I had buckled down at that time how different our lives would be today. There were a lot of opportunities that I couldn’t see while we were in the middle of it. I chose not to see opportunity to change and instead unwittingly chose to live in denial.

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Conscious Decisions

Chefs often recommend making your own stock. It is more flavorful and uses more of the meat and bones. For us it was a cheap source of protein to feed our growing children. I did what I could to feed my family. If that meant I did not eat then so be it. That was fine as long as the children were healthy and full.  Sometimes I wouldn’t eat anything for a day or two.  Life is tough when you haven’t eaten in two days and are still too embarrassed to go to the food bank.

In those days I couldn’t tell you where to find a food bank. If we were in that situation again I would go simply to keep my family fed and myself healthy. Survival.

On the days I didn’t eat I could feel the fatigue. My body was eating itself to wake me up. I would supplement food by drinking milk.  I remember feeling like there was a hole in my stomach And that I would never feel full again.  Some mornings I forced myself to get out of bed. It was a conscious decision to live another day. It was also a conscious decision to awaken to the power of positive thinking.  I felt that if I gave up on the positive thinking that I would not be able to get through another day.  Some days the positive thinking just did nothing to help.  I thought about stopping my mantra but it was my lifeboat giving me hope in a sinking ship.

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Pit of Doom

I want people to know that just because you make some mistakes you are not a bad person.  Bankruptcy, foreclosure, repossession, eviction are not things that make you a bad person.  Bad things happen to good people.  Don’t judge yourself by the events that happen in your life.  Learn from them.  Take the lessons and make yourself stronger and smarter, and don’t give into the negativity.  By participating in the negativity you will only make it worse.  Some of the best time you can spend is to learn to change your mind set.

Negativity is like a pit of doom that can be very difficult to get out of and it can be the very definition of hell.

Everyone has their version of a Quicksand Story.

 

 

 

 

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