For two years there was no communication. For two years I was alone in a marriage that was in trouble. For two years I thought about leaving one way or another. I never considered myself a weak person but those two years made me feel it, which made it even worse to bear. The only thing keeping me going was the children. Through it all was the financial meltdown we were in. We would have creditors show up and I would not know what to say. They would call all the time. Citibank called every day, 7, 8 and sometimes 9 times a day, 7 days a week. I told them they were harassing me and they said that they were allowed to because we owed them money.
At that time there was no help for us because there were no programs to help people in our situation. It is a lot different now. My stock answer was Paul is dealing with it and I don’t know what he’s doing with it. You need to talk to him. No I don’t know when he will be home. No he isn’t home right not and I can’t reach him by cell phone. I’ll tell him you were here when he gets home.
I remember there was this one mom that had been asking to get her son together with us for a play date. I invited her over to play for awhile. She wasn’t there for more than a half an hour when the sheriff showed up to serve us lawsuit papers. I was so embarrassed I wanted to just run away up the street. I felt like a worm about to become smashed under a shoe. Slime.
I shrugged off the event with as much dignity as I could and lied to the woman saying, “Trucking, it happens all the time. Someone is always trying to get money from you.” I quickly stashed the paperwork out of site and tried to go on as if it were not uncommon. On the inside I felt abandoned.
Paul went out again to “go and see a customer.” I at this time began to understand that that meant that he was going to get lost for a few hours. He must get a call when these people are coming and just run and hide. It always seems to go down when he is MIA. I was happily exchanging pleasant conversation while on the inside I am broiling mad that I have to deal with this again. How could he abandon me this way!!!