The Quicksand Story

Our story through the quicksand of our own financial crisis

Conscious Decisions

Chefs often recommend making your own stock. It is more flavorful and uses more of the meat and bones. For us it was a cheap source of protein to feed our growing children. I did what I could to feed my family. If that meant I did not eat then so be it. That was fine as long as the children were healthy and full.  Sometimes I wouldn’t eat anything for a day or two.  Life is tough when you haven’t eaten in two days and are still too embarrassed to go to the food bank.

In those days I couldn’t tell you where to find a food bank. If we were in that situation again I would go simply to keep my family fed and myself healthy. Survival.

On the days I didn’t eat I could feel the fatigue. My body was eating itself to wake me up. I would supplement food by drinking milk.  I remember feeling like there was a hole in my stomach And that I would never feel full again.  Some mornings I forced myself to get out of bed. It was a conscious decision to live another day. It was also a conscious decision to awaken to the power of positive thinking.  I felt that if I gave up on the positive thinking that I would not be able to get through another day.  Some days the positive thinking just did nothing to help.  I thought about stopping my mantra but it was my lifeboat giving me hope in a sinking ship.

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